Friends first then dating
Imagine you meet someone that you're not attracted to. Then the relationship is based on personal compatibility, not just sexual chemistry. Grace Cornish avers that romances that begin as friendships are more likely to succeed: "You're always kind to your friend. There's no respect if you become possessive and controlling." "If you have a genuine friendship, you're not going to pretend to be someone you're not so a person can marry you.Then later, as some times goes by, suddenly, you begin to notice all these fantastic qualities about them that you didn't know existed, and boom! You're looking for your friend to get ahead by looking out for his best interest. Some people are on their best behavior until they cross the threshold. But your true nature will surface when you're a person's friend first.Because I fell for it once and will no longer fall for it, I simply feel pity for them and sometimes even want to smack them upside the head.
It might feel scary, and you might fear that it'll ruin the connection you already have, but the best – and easiest – relationships truly grow from friendships.
In a post for Fox News Magazine, Kim Olver, author of “Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner and Your Life,” stresses the importance of friendship in romance: When I think of reasons people cheat, I often hear things like, 'She never supports me.' 'He didn't want to spend time with me.' 'She doesn't understand me.' 'He never really listens when I talk to him.' 'I don't even think s/he likes me.' 'S/he is always complaining.'Aren't all these statements really the opposite of the core of friendship?
It would make sense, then, that the person for whom you already do all of these things would make the best relationship partner. The desirability factor is derived from the absence of those things, which ferments that kind of desire that reflects the old adage, “You want what you can't have.”If one of these is more present than the other in the relationship, the relationship will fail.
I've never been "friends first" with a boy, though the concept is quite fascinating. Many experts advise that couples should be friends first.
) You freely give your time, energy and attention to your friends. )We should be giving our relationship partners the same kind of support we give our friends. in Psychology Today, in order for a relationship to be successful, there must be a balance between two very different concepts that reflect both the friendship and passionate parts of a relationship.